When I lost my sweet baby seven years ago I was completely lost in this world. I didn’t know which way to turn, who to talk to, how to smile, sometimes even just breathe. But over time, faith, and lots of hope, I was able to live again. To slowly adjust to my new world, my new thinking, my new fears and worries, my new heartache.
During that the devastating time in my life, I spent a lot of hours researching stillbirth, loss of baby, grieving, and how to cope. I would confide in a few friends but over time it started to fade. The days were farther in between when people would ask how are you. I totally understood and didn’t hold bitterness. They were lost for words and hurt too.
I decided to organize a 5K run/walk honoring our daughter’s journey and raise awareness in our community and support those who have lost as well. It was an amazing experience none the less. To selflessly support those families, to heal in my loss, to honor my daughter, to feel connected with her, and most importantly to honor God.
It absolutely breaks my heart to hear of a mother and father who lose a baby. It stings my heart because I know exactly how they feel. I wish I could take away their pain. I had lots of support through the years and I even had some that hurt a little.
I have a lot on my heart to share but honestly the one that surfaces is to the mother who has lost a baby and wants to honor her child. Don’t let go.
Don’t let go of the memories you hold.
Don’t let go of the baby blankets, the clothing, the pictures, the stuffed animals, whatever you have, don’t let go.
Don’t let go of raising awareness in your communities and sharing about your precious child.
Don’t forget that your husband is hurting too and grieves differently.
Don’t forget to celebrate whatever you want to about your baby.
Don’t let anyone tell you to get over it and let go.
Don’t dwell on the loss of you baby in a negative way. Do have hope, recognize those new rays of sunshine that pierce through the pain, and be thankful.
It does take time and everyone’s time is different. Don’t compare your grief with others.
Do have grace for those around you who want you to let go and don’t understand.
I always relate my grief and joy in this order because Joy does come in the morning. I have let go of the pain and cries of to have her back. I have fixed my eyes on the Lord and his promise knowing one day I will see her again. I am so very blessed. I would want nothing more than to have my family of five here but my joy is in the Lord for he has done good works and he has made my glad.
Every difficult circumstance in your life is something God will use for your good and His glory. He has great blessings in store for you. Trust Him and don’t give up! “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “ Jeremiah 29:11