I have wanted to write for days. I have wanted to share my heart with you, my stories, my love, my emotions. But honestly, I have not had the words. I have the words in the bathroom when my emotions come flooding over me. I have the words while I am looking out the window while my husband is driving the car. I have the words….until I sit down to write them down.
Lately, I have been so emotional. I always get this way during the Holidays. I have emotions of overwhelming joy, things that make my heart smile, people who move me, little giggles that rush the flows of happiness. But I also have unexpected tears that stream down my cheeks, deep emotions missing my baby girl yet another Thanksgiving and Christmas. Memories of an amazing father in law that blindsided me with emotions. Just lots of emotions all in this little self.
We were driving through Dallas going to Fort Worth on Saturday to spend Thanksgiving with my family. I looked up over to my left and I noticed under a bridge on the other side of the highway three homeless men with blankets, boxes, shopping carts, little pieces of their home. It broke my heart to know they live under a bridge when I am at home every night in a home filled with many needs plus more. I was sad yet thankful at the same time. I prayed for them. That was all I could do passing them on the highway miles away.
God reminded me this weekend how blessed I am to be married and have a family in this fallen world. It crushed me to even imagine losing my husband. Yet it happens each day in this world. I stood at my sink and cried thinking about it. That night I hugged my husband so tight and told him how much I loved him and how important he is to me. I could see in his face and by his I love you too response he needed to hear that.
Today my heart was filled with joy playing with my kids and hugging each other so tightly. My son looked up at me and said Mom, you’re so beautiful and the best mom in the world. I was taken back today. He has said this before to me and every time I smile and it melts my heart but today it struck me in a way I can’t even describe. For that moment all the times I had failed him as his mom were brough to surface for just a second to show me Grace. I felt the love of Jesus in his heart and his words to me.
Oh the power of words. Today they built me up. They seeped through my raw emotions to show me I am loved.
Isn’t that what God wants us to know? Isn’t that how God wants us to feel? In the midst of our days, circumstances, and emotions, he wants you to know you are loved. You are beautiful and the best in his eyes.
I originally started to write a post tonight on this amazing heavenly carrot cake I made this week but I can’t get past my emotions. I can cry this very moment writing all this but that’s just who I am. If you really knew me you would know that I am an emotional and passionate person. Here is a sneak peak of the Carrot Cake.
As we give Thanks this month and bless those at Christmas I pray that whatever your emotions may be, that you embrace them, and know that you are loved. Cherish the memories and create new ones, and tell those around you how much they mean to you and how much you truly love them. Life is a Gift.
Necklace purchased at my friend’s page Origami Owl.
Thanksgiving with my sister, one of my brothers, and our kids.