I have had many incidents today that tempted me to react in a negative way and quite honestly I wish I could say I succeeded. The truth is I failed a few times and I had to start over.
I had to drive to Dallas today for doctor appointments. The same hospital I have seen my doctors at for six years. I don’t even know why I did it but I exited early and turned the wrong way. I realized it pretty quickly but I was too prideful to turn around and I kept on driving just knowing the next street I could turn on and take that route. The next street came up and it wasn’t it. I finally had to turn around and take the ladder.I arrived on time but had to rush from the parking garage to the office all while getting my daughter out of the car too and making sure she was cared for.
My appointment took longer and caused a detour in my plans on the way home before I had to pick up my son from school. I stopped at the store to grab a few things and I was headed to the check out lanes. There was one lane that the cashier was standing waiting for a customer so I started in. I noticed it was express and I know I had a few more items that it stated and a lady and her teenage daughter was right behind me. I glanced and noticed her basket had less so I said you can go ahead of me. It took everything I had to let her go too since I needed to pick up my son from school. She then looked at me and my cart in front of my four-year old daughter and said well yeah I think your cutting it close for express. No thank you. I just smiled and headed over to the self checkout lane. Her reaction didn’t shock me but it pierced my heart to dig deeper. You could say my day was not going as planned.
I continued on and arrived at the school and we headed home. That’s when I planned to have a quiet movie night and we could eat popcorn and snuggle on the couch. The kids decided this evening was going to be an emotional evening of hurt feelings, sharing issues, and little things like this happening to me.
I was reaching for a container of Cayenne pepper and it slipped and spilled all over the counter, the floor, and my legs and feet. It was a big hot mess. I hope you never spill cayenne pepper. It isn’t the best feeling in your nose and causes everyone to start sneezing.
We had lots of other little things cause the evening to feel messy. As I was cleaning the cayenne pepper off the floor, the counters, and myself I realized how messy the day was but how unmessy I could be through it all. How was I reacting to these unplanned and not so convenient moments? What example was I setting for my children?
My son wasn’t having the best afternoon after school. He was tired and just having a day. We all have them. I loved him, told him I was there for him, and even when he was disobeying I still had to parent and it broke my heart to see him cry. When the cayenne pepper made a big mess his first reaction was mom I will get the broom and sweep it up for you. It struck me and God reminded me of the lady in the store today. Dig deeper and walk with me. I know there have been times in the past when he was so generous I probably didn’t recognize it because I was so focused on the mess and the circumstances at the time.
This time I recognized is his generosity. I focused on his reaction and goodness. God reminded me right then of the scripture Ephesians 6:13.
“Use every piece of God’s armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will be standing firm.”
Today we had a messy day when the enemy wants to be in the middle of the details. When we stay in prayer with God, in his word daily, and strengthen our armor of God, we can resist the temptation to react negatively just like the enemy wants us to do. We can finish our messy day pleased.
As I grow in my faith I know that I am maturing as a person, as a mother, a wife, in every role that God has placed me. I know this based on my reactions.
Sometimes most of the time God will remind me of his ways through my children.
Each day I am reminded by God that he allows these times to surface the impurities in my character. We can not change our circumstances but we can change our attitudes. God is wanting to change me. Change me to be more like him.
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you.” 1 Peter 4:12 NASB
I ended our evening as I always do. Tucking my two sweet little ones in to bed and saying our prayers. I then ask each of them what they would like to pray for tonight. They always pray for daddy, our family, their big sister in heaven, and even superhero and princess’s. Tonight my daughter added our day.
That was when I knew we stood firm together in this test of a messy day and I thank God for each moment.