I have had my faith tested many times.
I am sure you have too.
We pour every ounce in to our daily Christian walk with God. Have this natural high of love for our God and feel his love toward us. We are mighty. We can conquer anything that comes our way.
Then that “anything” comes my way. The unexpected and emotions start to flood and take over. Very soon that proud and mighty feeling of conquering the world is nowhere to be found. Where did my faith go? Where is the strength that God gave me through the last trial?
God quickly reminds me these are test of faith child. He has a divine purpose in these challenges of life. I know God didn’t send me these problems but he does allow me to go through them to grow in faith.
Last July I was hospitalized as a stroke patient. Every symptom appeared to be a stroke and I was rushed by ambulance and then treated for a stroke. My life stopped right before me and I could think about the care for my children. I was soon home and referred to a neurologists. For the last eight months I have been treated as a migraine patient that mimic strokes. The last two moths symptoms have gotten worse and I have received a second opinion. It has been mentally, physically, and emotionally tiring. Not just for me but for my husband and kids too.
Today was another challenging day. Leaving the doctor with orders for more tests. Tests to confirm stroke or no stroke, rule out migraine, even other diagnosis that are beyond the walls right now.
I left a doctor crying.Second time in two weeks. Two doctors. This doctor does want to find answers and help but still not a solid answer today.
I know God has allowed this suffering for a reason. He knows the plans he has for me. He is testing my faith. My character. To strengthen my faith I must overcome this adversity. Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that I am healthy and this medical adversity is just a test of faith and when I pass the test I will be healed. No. it is through this health set back I will be strengthened for his Glory. Healed or sick.
Several times today I said to my husband I am done. I even shared with a friend. I am done. I am done with doctors. I am done with tests. God gently reminded me this evening that I can resist. I can fall weak spiritually. But that is not going to change his plans or my circumstances. I may be frustrated and ready to flee but he needs me to fight. He wants me to pass the test. Faith tells me the best is yet to come.
Job was a good man with a good heart who loved God. He had a heart to do whats right. He faced adversities. He lost his home, job, flocks, his family, and even his health. Imagine the temptation of bitterness. Job had faith. He loved God greatly and knew that God was a God of restoration. Faith is what got Job though the darkness. God did restore Job and blessed him. I want the attitude of Job. There is a bigger picture than this but I love how Joel Osteen shares his perception on Job. “Even if die I’m going to die trusting God. I’m going to die believing for the best.”
I am blessed. there are others at this very moment with worse health concerns than mine. I pray that they will be comforted by God and have a faith like Job. I pray that any obstacle that may come your way, big or small, health or fears, anything, will be a test of your faith that you will pass.
Photo Credit : Pinterest Becca Strasburg