October is Pregnancy, Stillbirth, & Infant Loss Awareness month. This is our sweet angel baby, Payton. She died during childbirth and it completely shattered our hearts. Leaving the hospital to plan a funeral and coming to a home with empty arms to a nursery filled with love was devastating. 11 years later I still remember every moment, emotion, scent of hair, thoughts, and the love that surrounded us. Family, friends, nurses, even strangers wrapped us in prayer and love during our loss and grief. I poured my self into raising awareness and helping other moms the … [Read more...]
For You
I take my days here on this earth for granted a lot. Just being able to hug and hold my two kiddos and teach them about life while playing with legos, driving to the park, reading books together, school work, sports, and the list goes on. I take for granted my time as if I will be on this earth forever so I don't say I love you enough, I'm not a good enough friend, I put off things for tomorrow instead of today, feeling completely secure in my earthly life. But I think of you often. I miss you everyday. I share about you too but not because I'm constantly living in … [Read more...]
Remember the Mother
Mother’s day is different for all mothers but also very real. This Mother’s Day, remember all the different mothers celebrating and grieving. If I am honest, sometimes I miss the innocence of Mother’s day and what it could be before my sweet baby died but I am also so very thankful to be her mama. Mother’s day can be an incredibly hard time especially for those that are mourning. Being a stillbirth mama I completely get it. Eleven years later I still have moments where I think of her name and it just takes my breath away. I have mourned many Mother’s days but I have … [Read more...]
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Ten years ago we lost our sweet baby during childbirth, she was stillborn. That day my heart felt ripped from my chest and my soul shattered. Holding my baby for the first, last, and only time. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that very moment and kiss her forehead one more time. Tell her how much I love her and I will miss her very much. Whisper in her ear that she will never be forgotten. Tell her it is not the end of our story and we will meet again. Physically holding her and whispering sweet … [Read more...]
It is well with my soul.
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul. That is one of my favorite hymns and every time I hear the words so beautiful to my ears I am stricken with my own grief, hope, and peace mended through my soul. Have you ever read the history behind this famous hymn? A family loses their only son to scarlet fever leaving behind parents and three sister to mourn his death. The family was wealthy but lost all of their money in the real estate market when all of their property and family fortune was destroyed by the Great Chicago Fire. But … [Read more...]
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