October is Pregnancy, Stillbirth, & Infant Loss Awareness month. This is our sweet angel baby, Payton. She died during childbirth and it completely shattered our hearts. Leaving the hospital to plan a funeral and coming to a home with empty arms to a nursery filled with love was devastating. 11 years later I still remember every moment, emotion, scent of hair, thoughts, and the love that surrounded us. Family, friends, nurses, even strangers wrapped us in prayer and love during our loss and grief. I poured my self into raising awareness and helping other moms the … [Read more...]
For You
I take my days here on this earth for granted a lot. Just being able to hug and hold my two kiddos and teach them about life while playing with legos, driving to the park, reading books together, school work, sports, and the list goes on. I take for granted my time as if I will be on this earth forever so I don't say I love you enough, I'm not a good enough friend, I put off things for tomorrow instead of today, feeling completely secure in my earthly life. But I think of you often. I miss you everyday. I share about you too but not because I'm constantly living in … [Read more...]
Remember the Mother
Mother’s day is different for all mothers but also very real. This Mother’s Day, remember all the different mothers celebrating and grieving. If I am honest, sometimes I miss the innocence of Mother’s day and what it could be before my sweet baby died but I am also so very thankful to be her mama. Mother’s day can be an incredibly hard time especially for those that are mourning. Being a stillbirth mama I completely get it. Eleven years later I still have moments where I think of her name and it just takes my breath away. I have mourned many Mother’s days but I have … [Read more...]
Mama, You are Amazing!
To all the mamas out there last-minute baking goodies for their kid's school volunteer sign up but completely forgot and had to go to the store with two kids in tow that are tired, grumpy, and emotional just like their mama...your amazing! To all the mamas who are saying yes to that 13th time tucking your babies in and kissing them on the cheeks but all you want you want to do is finish the endless jobs in your home that need your attention because hey mama can have a third cup of coffee in the morning....you are amazing!! To all the mamas who have cleaned messy … [Read more...]
Loyal Tribe of Women
I have wrinkles and my hair is always a mess. I have flaws and my heart has been broken many times. I am not a perfect wife or mama and I get stressed and sometimes raise my voice. I am emotional and vulnerable. I am clumsy. I make big messes when I cook. I can't seem to always get my laundry put away. There's many nights I have dishes in my sink but I'm just too tired to clean. My house is not like the ones on tv but it's our home that we built with love. BUT I am honest. I am passionate. I love with everything I have. I am empathetic and compassionate. I am driven to … [Read more...]
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