Don’t judge a mom and her children {to the lady at Target}

I was with my children getting some last-minute school supplies, a few groceries, and  exchanging shoes at Target today. We made it through the store with more structure than I have seen in this whole summer. Even my target text message and cartwheel app coupons worked. They didn’t ask for toys {which they have done all Summer} which always leads to some sort of extreme tantrum from one of them.

We then turned down the aisle where the make up was. I needed a few things but had to hurry since my daughter had to potty. We were so close to the front I just wanted to grab the last few things. There was this mom with her three children and her littlest who was about the same age as my daughter, five, who was really wanting some Hello Kitty makeup. Mommy said not today. She began to cry and when she didn’t get her way she got louder and every time her mommy said no she got angry. You know the rest of  the story if you’re a mom of little ones.

I proceeded to the register and was taking everything out of my cart. A different mom got in line behind me with two crying children. I said “Campbell, come on sweetie” as she was watching the girls cry. The mother then said,”Campbell this is how you don’t act in a store”. I assured her we have had our shares of acting like that in a store. I know that joke and the awkward sound in her voice. It’s hard not to worry what others will think of you when you child is screaming at the top of their lungs and everyone is staring at you with the judging eyes.

The Target employee then told me we had to move to the next register. I saw the mom who was behind me leaving from the register she had moved to and I told her to have a good day. I looked up and there was this lady probably in her fifties that gave me strange look about him moving my stuff over there since she was behind me. He had told her he was moving over there but for some reason I don’t think she wanted my stuff too. I kindly said I’m sorry the register was broke.  She kind of breathed a little loud at me but I let it go.

While he was ringing up my stuff the mom I saw down the makeup aisle was getting in her lane one over and back and her daughter was still screaming, “I want this.” I looked up and saw the mom and she was trying everything she could to tune it out and keep her calm at the same time. It’s so tough when your child has gone to that extreme. At that point it isn’t even worth trying to reason with them. I have experienced those fits far too many times and I have had to just say I’m sorry sweetie, mommy said not today. I have left the store many times carrying my child kicking and hitting me while pushing the cart out or just leaving it in the store.

I took my receipt and he apologized again for the delay and I told him it really wasn’t a problem and then I heard something that I almost couldn’t believe I heard. The older lady looked at me and said “I hate screaming kids”.

Say that again in your mind just like I had to.

She said this right in front of my children. I was so thankful that mom didn’t hear her. In that moment you could be crushed or show a side of anger you didn’t know you had.  I kindly told her “sometimes that happens with kids”  and she replied,”yeah well it’s the parents and they don’t control their kids”. I then said to her ” No sometimes the kid is just being a kid and you can’t control that. I have kids too and it has happened to me but have a little grace” that was all I could say. She just made a hummmpphhh sound to me.  I politely told her that she didn’t have to be so mean and walked away.

Of course my kids starting asking what did she say? What did you say to her? Why was she being mean? I had to explain that sometimes we do mean things and she did but we can be nice and forgive.

I must confess since I am a sinner too and a momma! I wanted to say I AM MOMMA HEAR ME ROAR! I wanted to say yeah well maybe kids hate grumpy old people. I wanted to ask her if she was a mom and if her kids were perfect, because no one is perfect, and that means it must have been her fault that she couldn’t control her own kids. There I said it. Don’t judge, you probably would have thought the same thing too.

To the mom with the screaming kids. You are not alone. Don’t worry about people judging you or your parenting. because they are going to anyways. Don’t give in to your child to keep them quiet. Let that moment be a teachable moment. Look on the bright side you were able to get out of the house and go to Target and get a few things you needed. You might have not bought the hello kitty makeup and your daughter is upset and angry but she will forget about it in just a little while. {Until she sees something else she wants then oh my} Seriously though, sometimes we have to say no to our children and that’s ok. Sometimes  you have to be the momma that roars and that’s ok. I applaud you for not giving into today. I know how tough it was. Today you were supermom. You did what best for you and your child in the midst of the that tantrum.

To the lady in the check out lane that said I hate screaming kids. I am sorry for the thoughts that went through my head even though I didn’t voice them. I don’t know if you really feel that way or you said it out of frustration. Either way, please know that us moms are doing the best we can.

As we are preparing for the new school year, organizing our school supplies, getting back packs ready, looking up lunch ideas on Pinterest, and picking out the cute first day of school outfits for pictures. Perhaps it is the mom that we are in the midst of chaos that makes us supermom doing the best we can and not all the above.