Guilt

So before I post this post again…I must share one of my biggest strongholds I have dealt with in my life before I became a Christian and even in the early years of new faith was GUILT. I decided to share {what you will read below} Friday night and my entire blog just disappeared. If you visited it said fatal error.  I was very frustrated and my first initial reaction was the obvious as any human would do when something goes terribly wrong they have worked so hard on. But it was out of my control. I had to start praying and God reminded me it is all for his glory and he will take care of me {it}.

I just knew it would be gone and I was going to have to start all over with my original blogger page. My sweet friend’s husband even tried to help me and I so thankful for that. It was going to be a lot fo work but I was ready to do it. I received an email tonight from my web hosting service who is by the way absolutely amazing. I am self hosting so he did not have to do any of this without charging. He recovered my blog, everything was recovered, except this post GUILT. It was gone. He didn’t free of charge. I am so grateful for this and I can’t say thank you enough. Seriously, if you need a website this is the service to use Graceful Hosting. I have been a client before I started my blog almost three years ago.

So I know the enemy was trying really hard to mess with me and my passion for sharing God’s word through my life experiences but I have a Mighty and Faithful God I love. I am his servant and I live for God and Satan will not defeat me especially with guilt.

Do you ever deal with guilt? Does your mind constantly feel like it’s going in circles when your dealing with guilt? I do.

I am part of a bible study at my church that is designed for young moms with young children. A season that God blessed us with. Along with the blessings comes much more. More fear, more anxiety, more blessings, more joys, and even guilt. I was asked to be part of a panel for open topic discussion. We talked about many things from cleaning a house, schedules, adoption, blended families, and guilt. My heart was pierced when the questions were emailed to the panel to review. My heart was pierced on the topic of guilt.

I have had many experiences with guilt from a young girl all the way through motherhood. I still deal with guilt but the difference is how I handle it. I want to share with you what I shared with the moms. Although I left out the details of what kind of guilt I went through due to our time, I will share some here.

As a young girl I dealt with guilt of failing my parents, my teachers, my friends. I had guilt of not being able to help my mother when she needed it. I had guilt for choices I made in school that were so hurtful to myself.

As a young adult I had guilt with my first marriage crumbling although it was a blessing in disguise. It still hurt. I had guilt when I met my husband now that he would not love me for me. I had guilt when my first child died during delivery. I felt I had failed as a mother. I felt guilt when God blessed me with two beautiful and healthy subsequent babies to love and care for.

And the list goes on.

From the little things to the deep things we all have guilt. At least I do. What did this guilt do to me? It tore me down and I crumbled in my own guilt. I was left feeling worthless and this robs us of our faith. Guilt is the open door to the enemy to move in and reside in our past. He lives there and reminds us of all the choices, the events, and others that have left us feeling guilty.

This is where I was. I believed a lie the enemy had told me. He created a stronghold in my mind that became a battle of believing the lie and believing God.

So how did I deal with it? How did I handle those sleepless nights of mind-boggling thoughts that were constantly there? How did I learn to let go and release the chains of guilt that imprisoned me in my own mind?

I prayed for God to remove my guilt. He didn’t do it as quickly as I wanted. I had to deal with the guilt and the issues that caused the guilt. We can go to God and lay our Godly sorrow guilt before him seeking repentance and inviting God to work through our guilt with us step by step increasing our faith. I wanted to do this but my guilt had become extreme. I was now dealing with condemnation guilt from Satan. I  truly believed all the horrible things the enemy would whisper. Your not good enough. You will never achieve. God doesn’t love you enough to forgive you. This was a stronghold that had needed to be transformed.

One of the first scriptures God placed before me when I first layed my guilt before him was 1 Timothy 3:9

“They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience.”

Deep truths I let go of and a clear conscience…wow this is going to be hard I told myself. It was very hard and I survived all of the enemies tactics to control me. God was clear of his love for me and that is where it all started. I had to be in the word daily. I had to live it and breathe just so I could survive the battle. I had to pray, pray, and pray. These four steps saved me.

1. You have to understand God’s nature of Forgiveness. 2nd Corinthians 5:17

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come.”

Study the bible on Forgiveness. It’s amazing how God forgave us of our sins, even the really messy ones, just because he loves us. He sacrificed his only son so we can spend eternal life with him.

2. Repent. Take your sin {guilt} to God and place it before him. Ask for forgiveness. He wants that relationship with you.

3. Know your past is forgiven. This is where I had to dwell on the thoughts of being a new person. God forgave me and my ugly past.

4. Forgive yourself. Wow! This was a hard one for me. That is why I hung on to my guilt for so long too and the enemy knew how to sneak right in. But Jesus made it clear to us. Release ourselves from the bondage of unforgiveness.

This is a daily process of letting go. Even though I have worked through the process of forgiving myself and trusting God with my guilt the enemy still tries to sneak in unexpectedly. He waits for my guard to be down. I don’t believe the lie anymore that I am worthless. I believe that I am loved by God and he will always be there for me.

Oh dear friends, I pray today you are not dealing with guilt, but if you are I pray that you know what a beautiful treasure you are in Christ’s eyes. Go to him and he will free you from your own prison of guilt. He will make you new and you will glorify him.

God knew I needed all of it in my life. It is part of my foundation. I leave you with this thought.

If God chose to forgive me. Who am I to hang on when God let go.

Photo source from Pinterest

Love,