Heartache changes you.
It challenges you to find yourself after you experience a heartache that seems like living again is far beyond our reach.
It teaches you how fragile life really is.
It changes your perspective.
After losing Payton, I struggled with everything that comes along with heartache. Each of us struggle differently but the pain is all the same. A pain unimaginable. A pain that shakes you to the core.
Losing our baby was something I never imagines I would experience. Rushing to the hospital in labor when our baby was due was full of excitement. When the doctors told us she had passed away and there was nothing they could do I was in complete shock. I still had to give birth, recover, and then plan a funeral.
Heartache it changes you.
Through my journey of loss and grief I have changed so much. I went through times of depression, hiding myself at home to avoid the world I had to face. A world with out my child. I journeyed through grief, healing, and hope. My faith was challenged.
Traveling the journey of loss has allowed to me feel the deepest of hurts to comfort others. It has shown me ways to encourage others who experience a loss. It has brought the words to the ones who don’t know what to say. It has brought grace and hope in ways I had never seen.
When you lose something that you love so fiercely it absolutely breaks you. The broken can be mended. The hurt can be healed. The hopeful are not hopeless. I will never forget my daughter. Each and every moment is embedded in my soul. The memories, the pain, the tears, the hope, and even the joy in the midst of the heartache are constant reminders. I am not protected from ever losing again but I am sensitive to how fragile life is.
I can be a voice to others. I can love fiercely love again. I can choose joy.
So many sweet ladies suffer from pregnancy loss. You are not alone.
I rest in hope.
I believe that my baby is in Heaven with Jesus. I can’t wait to hug her one day in Heaven. This is my journey through this fallen world. I am a bereaved mother. I have lost a baby through stillbirth and survived. The journey is not easy but I am thankful for all the pieces along the way. The sun can still shine in this dark world.
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