Do you ever feel guilty as a mom when you have me time? I know. I know. I can hear some of you saying what is me time? I seriously wonder that too some days. Being a mom of a five-year old and four year-old I can relate to not having much Me time.
If you get the chance to have some me time and go to dinner with friends, shopping day, spa day, or maybe just sleeping. I am sure you have your phones with you checking them for missed calls, maybe texts of your kids looking oh so cute and perfect for daddy or maybe it is a picture of something wrong going one and dad just has to share and he adds were ok though have fun. Ha!
Do your kids come try to open or the door or knock on it as soon as you try to use the restroom? I say if you get two minutes of bathroom time that is a spa day! As soon as you lay down in your bed to watch your show or read a book, here comes the kids running in mom I’m thirsty. I want a snack.
Do you ever feel guilty when you do have me time? We start to think negative thoughts and we just feel yucky all over and once we feel the mommy guilt it feels like it will be there forever. I have had lots of mommy guilt. I am the primary caretaker for my children like most moms. My husband is a firefighter and he is gone every third night and it always seems like those nights he is at work are the nights I could desperately have him here. I had many reasons to not have mommy time and mostly was guilt of leaving them and then also being over protective. I even made my husband feel at times like he wasn’t capable to watch them.
Eventually, this momma built up some stress of not having the me time to being able to just refresh and refocus. So let me explain I love my kids dearly. I know we all do. I joke about not having me time and honestly I believe in laughter. I don’t joke about this in front of my children though. I wouldn’t want to crush their spirits because I made them feel like I didn’t want to be with them. So I want to share with you ways that have helped me deal with the mommy guilt and stop beating myself up or go crazy!
Refocus. I had to refocus what the heart issue was. I will explain more a little below. I had to dig deep to see what was all this fuss about my me time.
Habits. I had to create habits of letting my husband help. Getting up a little earlier or going to bed earlier to get plenty of sleep. Sleep is important. Maybe not your ideal me time but sanity saver. Paint your nails every, style your hair different, get dressed up just to stay home, do something a little bit more than your routine.
Attitude. Change your attitude. Instead of constantly thinking about how you don’t have me time think about the little habits you created for yourself. Be grateful for the dinner out you may have had even if it is only twice a year. Thank God for that time as often as you can for that day. Think Happy thoughts!
The most important thing that has really freed me from the bondage of mommy guilt was deepening my relationship with Jesus. Refocusing. Jesus understands us as moms. Our children need and want us all the time. They want to be near us all the time. Jesus knows what it feels like to have people near him. Touching him all the time. Wanting security.
Isn’t that what our children want? Security from us. When I finally realized that it was about their security not my Me time. It clicked. I was battling with a bigger battle than I realized. I didn’t stop having me time. I may not have it as much as I would want but it’s not about me. It’s about them. Just understanding the security they needed I could reassure them in the way that made the Me time easier and less stressful.
Took Eased the guilt away.
As a mother I think guilt is there. If we can take that guilt though and give it to God and let him take care of it we can focus more on what God’s will is for us as mothers to our children.
Grace. Give yourself some grace. Jesus does. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We aren’t perfect. We are mom’s and children of God. Let’s give God our Mommy Guilt and give our ourselves some Mommy Grace.
On a funnier note I love this!