Nine years ago I was excited to celebrate my first Mother’s Day. I remember imagining the day jut two months after our first baby was due to arrive into our world. Although what I imagined what that sweet day would be it was not close to being a “happy” day for me to celebrate. I was grieving the loss of our child. Just two months before mother’s day our baby was supposed to be with us and during delivery our plans were changed. She was born still. Our baby had died during delivery.
Nine years later, through a journey of grief, hope, and choosing joy, I am celebrating Mother’s Day today with two amazing children here and one amazing baby in Heaven. There is still one thing each day or each year when the holidays roll around, birthdays, Mother’s Day, and more mama’s losing babies happens more often than the world knows. Those precious babies lives are not celebrated for their mama’s and families as much as they should be. Although they are not forgotten, us bereaved mamas know the feeling that they are forgotten. I am not angry at others, I know the words are lost and death is hard to deal with but just give those mamas a hug and listen to her stories of her sweet baby.
So mamas who have lost their babies, when you see the commercials, the cards, the flowers, and all the other Mother’s Day ensembles around you, please know you are not forgotten. You are loved. Your baby is not forgotten. Your baby is loved. There is HOPE.
A day to celebrate the mother in your life, may it be an adoptive mom, biological, or mentoring mom. A day to celebrate our children. May those be with us here or in Heaven, adoptive little ones, friends children that you love, nieces or nephews, students you pour yourself into, or the sweet ones that you provide water and food for each month. Cherish it all. Celebrate the moms that have left us too soon. I am so sorry for your loss too. And sweet ones who aren’t able to conceive, I cannot share that pain but I can imagine the hurt you feel as well. I am sorry for the struggle to choose joy through the painful circumstances. Maybe choosing joy isn’t a feeling of happiness but an act of love and hope through our attitudes and choosing to trust without borders.
Being a bereaved mother I relate to loss and grief and I have shared before about the International Bereaved Mother’s Day temporary movement. It is a heart centered attempt at healing the official Mother’s Day. I believe that we can do this and that sometime in the near future there will be no need for this day at all because all true mothers will be recognized, loved, supported and celebrated.
I also read an article today about Anna Jarvis who was the founder of Mother’s Day celebrating and honoring her mother years ago who was a bereaved a mother herself. Anna didn’t have any children of her own and fought hard for the day to honor those mom’s. Although we don’t hear about her story and the act of love she intended for her mother who had passed away. The article shared one sentence that struck me hard.
Mother’s Day began with Mothers working TOGETHER.
Here is a piece from the article. In response, Reeves Jarvis started Mothers’ Day Work Clubs. The groups sought to help mothers team up to put a dent in high infant mortality and combat other problems. Their motto reflected that vision: “Mothers work — for Better Mothers, Better Homes, Better Children, Better Men and Women.”
Fast forward to today. We Mothers need to work together though it all. Society focuses so much on comparison and what mom does it better or who woks or doesn’t work. Then we have today to dismiss all the comparison to celebrate Mamas with their families. Let’s celebrate everyday. Not with cards, or gifts, or flowers but with working together as mamas building each other up in our communities. Telling all the mamas around us ” You are rocking this mama thing” Telling the motherless child your mama rocked. Telling the bereaved mama” you are not forgotten, your baby is not forgotten. You are a rocking mama who will be united one day with her sweet sweet baby but until then there is hope and choose joy”
So sweet baby Payton, this mama misses you. You changed my world and made me a better mama. I love you. Because of you I have hope in this crazy world and I choose joy each day.
From one mama to next. Your rocking this mama thing!
{quote was shared by Savage Seeds on instagram}
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