One year ago today five hours earlier I was being rushed to the emergency room as a stroke patient. I was a 31 year old female, spouse, mother, and preschool, worker, and owned my own business at home. Overall I was healthy and happy.
Suddenly, I felt dizzy and passed out for a quick second beginning to fall but anchored myself on a table. My friend asks are you ok? Oh yeah I am just tired. If you need anything I am next door. Twenty minutes later I am calling her on the phone asking for help but the words wouldn’t clearly come out of my mouth.
Her husband came over and she took my children, four and three, to her house. Her husband and my husband are firefighters/paramedics and my husband was at work. My right arm became numb and limp, my right eye and mouth drooped, my speech slurred, and I was terrified.
Two days later, after being treated for a stroke, I am left with you have complex migraines. A migraine that mimics a stroke. This was my first attack. This was also a first time I clearly knew what God was telling me. My plate was too full and it was becoming an obstacle to be in God’s word and follow his plan. His plan for me was not to own my own business at home. He had another story for me. I resisted. The pride in me stood tall and after a month went by I was back to working until 2:00 and all other stuff that demanded my attention.
My complex migraine was not an easy fix. I am thankful and praise God that I didn’t have an actual stroke. My heart is more sensitive to those that have had a stroke or will have one. The six hours of speech difficulty, weakness, etc. is a grain compared to a stroke patient who has permanent deficits. I am very thankful to be able to use my right hand and have clear communication.
This last year has been a complete roller coaster emotionally, mentally, and physically. My gut feeling kept telling me something else was wrong contributing to these migraines. I didn’t give up. Doctor after doctor. Feeling crazy. They finally found some damage in discs my neck. I will be treated for this but I have had to learn this last year foods to avoid, smells, sounds, etc.that can trigger these attacks.I also have to be sensitve to my onset symptoms as this is very scary and dangerous if driving.
But I pray each day for God to heal and protect me and his will be done.
A year ago I was diagnosed with complex migraines. God tugged at my heart to slow down. To focus on him more instead of these worldly goals that had gotten in the way. Although my intentions were not to cause harm they did. It caused harm to my family. It caused harm to me. It was causing harm to my relationship with God and he knew what was best for me. He needed me to focus on his plans.
God was telling me during this storm in your life, look at me. Take focus and do not lose your way. I am the way, the truth, and the light. When you are weak find strength in me. When you are tired find rest in me.
God knows my weaknesses. He knows my struggles. He knows how to tug at my heart. We live in a fallen world. A world of pain and suffering. This is our temporary home until we are in Heaven with our King. It is during these downpours in the midst of our little lives that God wants us to solely rely on him.
He wants us to be in this journey with him. He never leaves our side. When life is touched with struggles it is hope we hold onto. Hope that helps reminds us that his love is real. Hope that gives us the courage to keep going on this journey with God down the path to Heaven.