Stirring of my heart

{Music really speaks to my soul and is a huge part of my faith}

Lately I have been thinking a lot about how distant I have been from sharing my thoughts here. I miss it. I crave it. But I know God has seasons for us to share where we are at and seasons where we sit quietly and try to soak in as much as we can so we don’t miss the big picture. Doing this requires our attention and our full focus. Lots of prayer and quiet time that is really hard to get. Especially being a mom and wife. But God is good and he always provides. These last few months of my quietness I struggled. I struggled hard. Trying to balance the time I needed to spend my time with Jesus yet make it through the day. There were days where I didn’t get any time other than the whispers of my heart and cluster of noise in my mind is what he hears.

He knows our thoughts and prayers even before we tell him.

I’m praying for guidance, lightness, and wisdom. I love how over time my prayers change. My prayers change with each season I am in but I do find myself praying over areas I have prayed years before. God answers our prayers in his time but sometimes our prayers change in ways to grow us each season. That’s where I am at. I have prayed for a long time to change my husband, my marriage, my relationships, my motherhood, but I had to change my prayers to where God is needing to work on ME….so guidance, lightness, and wisdom. That’s where I currently am.

I am an over thinker, people pleaser, and passionate kind of girl. I can cry easy, want to save the world, yet I want to hide in my bed to just think. The news overwhelms me. I love to laugh. A lot. All of this together is the real me. From the big things to the little things. I care deeply.

Ya’ll this world is deep and heavy. It scares me. Especially as a mother. I want to keep my kiddos in the house all the time. I pray for through the darkness in this world Jesus light will shine. And it does. But the world still needs Jesus. We all do. Not to be perfect. We are all sinners. But to experience the amazing Love that Jesus has. To experience the light that he shines down on us. We all need the light. We all need hope. We could get down about the brokenness or we can share the light. I choose to share the light and have hope.

I want to dance to the beat of God’s goodness and grace. I want to soak up Jesus’s love and shout it out to the world so others may be in awe of him too. Although each day won’t always be an upbeat day I can choose to thank him though the burdens I face and the world that’s in our face. I can thank him through it all with hope and light that he gives us. When I dig deep inside and bare my soul I confess that most of my daily sorrow is what I have created to deal with my own comfort and the real struggle of this world I love in and the love of Jesus.

Take this world and give me Jesus.

I feel this stirring in my heart lately to share more, be passionate about his love and share with everyone around me. I want to grow in my relationship with Lord to do his good works. I feel this stirring to be a wife and mother in a way that only Jesus can have the glory. I want to share his love with you. I feel this stirring in my heart to shift the ways I see the world. I want to dance to the sick beat of God’s ever-loving goodness and grace that overflows each and everyday.