Today was a tough day. I had very little sleep last night with construction vehicles using our street as a detour to our local freeway that was shutdown for repairs due to an accident {I am thankful that at least the news appeared to be that no one was hurt}. We also had a car close to the house with the alarm going off over and over on and off all night long. So yes the kids were woke up several times and we were up by 6am. I have a ruptured disc in my neck and I hurt my back a few months ago so it is not feeling good right now either which really messes up my sleep too.
So basically this momma is overtired and hurts a lot lately. So of course when mama is feeling like this it seems the kiddos argue more, cry a little more, and just everything more. I try to be very patient but I do lose my patience sometimes. But today was really hard. The day that I only got a couple of hours of choppy sleep in and out of a twin bed with two kids and a cat, left me a little cranky to say the least and my kids too.
I have shared before that my son has Sensory Processing Disorder {Sensory Integration} here and here. As we get older and the therapy that I have done over the years there is huge improvement and I am amazed at how far along we have come. However, there are days like today, that is like a whirlwind that leaves you feeling like what I have done wrong and what else can I do. It’s tough when the meltdowns occur because not only he is tired but his clothes are feeling “bad”, no food at all tastes, smells, or looks good so we refuse to eat. Our socks are bothering our baby toes. I don’t want to take a bath because the water is too hot or too cold and I don’t like the way it feels to get my hair wet. I just have to take a deep breath and sigh.
But when we can conquer these meltdowns even after momma has a few herself we overcome them and we can move on. I was reminded through all this that not only are our children unique from their personalities, clothes, their love language, and their food likes but also to how they process every day life. How each one is different in how they liked their back scratched, how they wake up in the morning, how they read, how they like to be comforted and so much more. Especially when one has sensory processing disorder and the other doesn’t.
So I pray for God to give me strength to finish the day strong, show lots of love through it all, ask for forgiveness where I have failed as a mom and wife, and lots of grace for myself and to extend to my children.
I love them so much and I want the absolute best for them that I can provide with God’s resources that he has given me even for my son’s sensory. I realized again although he doesn’t do well with change sometimes it’s necessary for him and when he wakes up and doesn’t want to wear anything but that stinkin red shirt again, I will let him. Then when he comes to me and wants to wear a different one just as it’s time to leave and we are running late, I will let him instead of resisting because I of the inconvenience.
So if your reading this and you have a child with sensory and it has been a rough day I hang on. They will brighten your heart with that big hug and kiss or decides to try a new food or not resist change. If your reading this and you have had a rough day with your sweet babies with out sensory hang on. It’s tough being a mom even though it is a precious and beautiful job. We wouldn’t trade it for the world but we also need to know someone cares. And there is.
I have always sang to my kids since they were babies You are my sunshine. As I sang it to my daughter tonight and my son at bed time it reminded me how much the sun is soothing and healing for me. I have been teaching my children that they are their own sunshine and they bring sunshine with them where ever they go. Smile and choose happiness even in the long days like today. Bring your own Sunshine.
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