Oh how I love this song. I once was lost. Before Christ, I was a very troubled young girl who had come from a broken and dysfunctional background. I so desired to be loved and free of hurt. I looked in many places and many people. I had a desire to love other others but so desperately needed to be loved. I was a child who had been through abuse, neglect, and drugs, and was left feeling defeated and very alone in this world. After a young marriage that ended in a divorce I was a new Christian looking for a new journey. I was finally loved by one I was searching for all along.
After years of heartache and self-pity God had restored my soul, relationships, and my faith. He brought happy times and ground breaking faith. I was still struggling with my faith though and giving it all to God. I had been let down by everyone else in my life what if God let me down? I was faced with questions of why do I deserve forgiveness and love from God. Honestly though, I was not giving it all to God and trusting him completely. God continued to show me his love and grace through my doubt.
When I became pregnant with my first child my husband and I were ecstatic. We had such big plans for our new family. God had other plans though and that is when my world was forever changed.
During the delivery of our sweet, Payton, she did not survive and was stillborn at 39 weeks. God took our sweet baby home to Heaven and I was left behind on this earth feeling lost. God orchestrated every moment leading up to this tragedy in my life. He orchestrated for me to just have moved to a new city without family, no job, no close friends, and a husband that had to go back to work. He orchestrated every time I had to drive to the doctor to pass our church home we now call Lake Pointe. He orchestrated solidity, with unbearable pain, to solely rely on him.
Over time God healed my pain, restored my faith again, showed me his ways, and blessed me with two healthy children. Although the pregnancies were not worry free I had hope in my faith with God that he will provide what I needed. The first two years I struggled with anxiety and fear of losing another child. I was not putting my faith in Christ and this was not trusting God. However, God has shown me grace and love through his son Jesus Christ. My children are his children not mine. This forever changed me. He has given me his precious children to love on, share the word of God with them, and be good stewards to seek and love those that are lost in the world to spend eternity with God in Heaven.
Rejoice in the Lord in all things. Love God with all your heart, mind and soul. Rejoice in Hope and CHOOSE JOY.
Through it all I still smile. The smile on my face doesn’t mean I am perfect or I don’t hurt some days. It means I appreciate what I have and what God has blessed me with.
But God who called me here below will be forever mine. You are forever mine.
I am unworthy but loved by God and so are you.
Much Love ~ Angie
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